Congratulations, Glenn Beck. Your ass is showing. As is the flabby, pasty ass of the entire Republican party.
You see, while the rest of us (you know, the majority of the country, the 75% or so who think you are a waste of space) are understandably upset this weekend, we also have renewed hope. Because we know the reason that you and your cronies started this schizophrenic smear-campaign against our friend Van is because we are winning. You’re shaking in your Men’s Wearhouse trousers and you don’t even know the half of it.
You see, if you thought taking out Van was going to be any kind of success, you were sorely mistaken. Because supporting Van and the movement for creating a just and sustainable economic system and combating climate change is an army of smart, savvy, trained leaders and organizers who are carrying out the work all around the country. Under-resourced? Absolutely. Exhausted? Definitely. Still determined? You betcha. And this pathetic demonstration of your fear of Van and everything he symbolizes has just emboldened us. We know that you only knew part of the story and that you were already terrified. Imagine if you knew the whole truth – that our movement has gone viral.
The good news for you and for all of us is that our win will not compromise you and your quality of life. Progressives by definition are working toward a better world for ALL, in contrast to conservatives who consistently work to oppress the “other.” So even though you make this game difficult for us (yes, all of you, even “nice” conservatives who support oppression via silence and apathy), when we win this seemingly uphill battle, you will not be left behind. We got you.
Holler at me in a few years. I’ll be the one growing tomatoes and harvesting rainwater. You’ll be the one with a useless pile of paper money and a Jesus fish on the back of your rusted SUV. I promise I’ll resist the urge to laugh in your face, and instead will share my bounty. You’re welcome in advance.
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