A few weeks ago, my honey and I got back from a trip to Colombia, Ecuador, and Peru. We saw many beautiful things, had interesting conversations with locals and travelers alike, ate good food, and wandered about in cities and in ruins and things. It was pretty great fun.
Mostly, people have wanted to hear about these positive things. As soon as I've delved into some of the not so great/comfortable things, they sort of want to divert the conversation - "But didn't you see Macchu Pichu?" Yeah, we saw Macchu Pichu. It was fucking amazing. But I need to tell you some other things . . . things many people don't want to hear/read . . .
First, though, I also want to acknowledge that no matter how limited our resources are in terms of This American Life, that we are extremely privileged to have had enough resources to have taken this trip, and we recognize that. Often we caught ourselves in the midst of messy, unsustainable, culturally appropriating tourism. If we did, we did our best to get out, or at least analyze the situation and start a conversation about it, if only amongst ourselves. And we tried our darnedest to do better the next time. This isn't about being better or more legit than anyone else. We just really tried our best in imperfect circumstances. And we noticed that lots of other people didn't even seem to notice the circumstances for anyone other than themselves. And yes, it would be a serious omission if I didn't admit that these people were almost always white.
Nothing but love for y'all, especially those who are open to talking about this stuff and trying to be better, but here are the Top Five Fucked Up Things White People Do While Traveling. (To be fair, douchey travelers of all stripes do these things . . . but it really is about 95% white folks.)
1. Speak English
Seriously? Are you seriously speaking English to this indigenous person right now? Are you seriously asking for directions in English? When they don't understand you, are you seriously talking more loudly and more slowly in hopes that they eventually will? The indigenous people here already had to learn one colonizer's language in order to be able to communicate with intruders, and it's called Spanish. Learn some basics and try a little harder or go visit England instead.
2. Take Pictures of Indigenous People
Wow. Have you not even cracked your Lonely Planet? Even the most irresponsible and most basic guidebooks will tell you that it is disrespectful to take photos of indigenous people, *especially* without their permission. Did you not read that part? Did you not care? Do you think that because you are willing to throw a big bill at them afterward, that you are doing them a favor? Can you understand that this is not the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland, but rather, the land and culture of the human beings with whom you are face to face? Will you ever understand that not everything is for sale, or for your consumption?
3. Buy Property/Start a Business in a "Developing" Country
I find language like "third world" and "developing country" problematic, but I don't yet have better shorthand to describe that some countries have less stuff & less money than the US, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, etc. due to capitalism, colonialism, genocide, globalization, and the rest. And thus, for travelers from these "developed" countries, everything seems really cheap. Hooray! Let's buy a bunch of stuff we can't afford at home! Right? Guys? Where are you going . . .?
Your sane friends are walking away, New-Zealand-guy-who-bought-land-and-built-a-hostel-on-it, because this is not right. It's WRONG. How would you feel if you really liked where you lived, and then some rich asshole came and bought up the prime real estate on the river, built a really big house, invited more rich assholes to come stay there, and employed like two people from your town to wait hand and foot on the rich assholes, basically being treated like servants to work for peanuts? I'll go out on a limb and guess you probably wouldn't like it that much. Add in the factors of race, culture, language ("It's really inconvenient for the Americans, Maria, when you don't speak English."), and historical context of people of your race and class being colonizers, mass-murderers, and enslavers, and we've got more than I can cover in this here paragraph, buddy.
4. Complain About the Food
I will admit, I complained about the food in Peru after a while. It was really difficult to get diverse vegetables in my meals, which I am used to because I am spoiled, and it was next to impossible to get a meatless meal. However, if I was faced with a bus station ham and cheese sandwich on white bread, I tried to remember that the health of people all across the world is suffering at the hands of big corporations and the governments who subsidize their unhealthy crap, like white bread and hormone-filled meat. I didn't blame the whole damn culture. I know that Peru grows a bazillion different types of potatoes, and that heirloom corn is plentiful, as is quinoa. I know that people traditionally eat alpaca, probably after a decent lifespan for the alpaca during which I am sure its warm fur is sheared and used for clothing. I know that it is not the fault of the Peruvian people that it's hard to find quinoa and greens at a restaurant, but chicken and white rice is all over the place.
Travelers who complain about food and throw around sentences like, "The food is crap," really piss me off. I heard travelers make disparaging remarks like this without recognizing anything like what I briefly discussed above, not even to mention their lack of remembering that what people grow up with and are used to eating is what they tend to like. And food is different in different regions of the world. What grows is different, how it's prepared is different, and even what is subsidized, cheap, unhealthy, and plentiful can be different. It all informs the cuisine and culture of a place, and to dismiss the food so wholly and rudely is to dismiss the entire culture.
5. Complain About a Place
Take that phrase from #4, above: "The food is crap." Now replace "The food" with the name of a city or country. Seriously. I can't believe that I actually heard travelers say something like, "Ecuador is crap. Barely worth it. Hurry up and get out of there." WHAT. THE. FUCK. How are you going to insult a whole country like that? You're LUCKY, buddy, that the country let you in to experience its riches in the first place. But because you couldn't find enough people who spoke English, or because you couldn't find the kind of fancy food you like, or because I don't even know what your crazypants high-falutin' expectations are, you decide to tell everyone the country is crap? Even if you got robbed, you asshole, what kind of disrespect is that? Which, side note, is probably caused by POVERTY. Idiot. Learn something about the reality of the world and oppression and imbalanced distribution of resources before you even step out of your own house in the morning, fool, and save the world from having to deal with you.
/rant
Friday, December 17, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Dear Oakland
Dear Oakland,
I'm sad, because I feel like you are pushing me out and away after 5 years of trying to make you home.
I often refer to myself as an uprooted sapling. Torn from the soil of my homeland and thrust into the wind. For a long while I thought my little roots would just shrivel up and I would drift forever. But then I (somewhat unknowingly at the time) began a search for hospitable soils, a new home. I found peace in Oakland. I found friends in Oakland. I found a home and two jobs in Oakland within a week and a half or so of being here! I found people who used the word "community" liberally. Being from LA and having gone to school in Santa Barbara, I was baffled. What is this "community" of which they speak? But then I started to know my neighbors and recognize them at the coffee shop. I started to see people around enough times that we finally just said hello. I did favors for people I knew well and people I barely knew at all. I went to parties & protests & potlucks. I could be my whole damn self - bruised and brown and a little strange. Cranky or in a good mood, on a skateboard or in heels, and it didn't matter whose hand I was holding, or if I was holding anyone's hand at all . . . nobody batted an eyelash. I felt like I had a little safety net made of people with their arms interlocked. If I wobbled on the tightrope of life and fell, they would catch me.
I got to know more and more people. I realized how networks work. Everybody knows everybody. I started to know more of this community's history. Who knows who, who slept with who, who dated who, who's kid that is, who worked where, who never speaks to that one person over there. I had some of my own relationships fall apart. Friendships, romantic relationships. I tried my best to stay friendly with ex's, but sometimes their lies and deceit were too much to bear. Sometimes just the hurt was too much to bear. I tried to stay on decent terms with friends as our relationships shifted and grew apart. But sometimes the blame was too much, or something else was too much, and we just couldn't do it anymore. Adult playgrounds became difficult. I used to see people navigating social scenes with caution: "I didn't invite her because her ex is dating HER." I never thought I'd be one of those people. I had always prided myself on maintaining good relationships with appropriate boundaries, and loving people unconditionally and forever. But I started to see myself as a player in that game. People started telling me when certain people would be at certain events. Or I just plain didn't get invited.
I realized that I had very very few close friends and lots of acquaintances. That I didn't feel comfortable asking anyone to bring me soup when I am sick anymore, or to drive me to the airport. Because there was only the one friend who had ever offered to do those things and I didn't want to ask for too much of him. I realized that I don't actually have anyone to call when I just need to have a good cry with a good friend who would tell me everything would be okay. I realized that some of my damaged relationships would never be healed - I could take responsibility for some part of that, but sometimes shit just sucks and shit just happens and people shit on you. That's a lot of shit. I realized that I had no idea what the future held. And that used to be okay. But it wasn't anymore.
I want to have a family. I want a partner and I want to birth a kid. I want a home. I want friends and I want a community. I want to trade recipes and sad stories and bunches of kale for the Meyer lemons off of your tree. I want to go out dancing and hug half of the people in the club. I want to go for a walk without the fear in my heart that I will run into one of those people who hurt me so badly that I feel like I would just disintegrate if I saw them. I want to feel like I can tell the truth. I want to give to people and do them favors and cook them meals and watch their kids. And I want them to do that for me. I want to feel like it's okay to ask. I want friends who will call me when they know I am having a hard time and ask if I need anything. Just like they would call me if they knew I was in a great mood and wanted to go run around in the sunshine and laugh.
Can Oakland give me this? Am I asking too much? I know I am responsible for creating some of it, and believe me, I am trying my best, with my limited time, energy, and resources. But it's really difficult to keep giving if you're not getting anything back, and I feel like I've been experiencing that for just a little too long now. I know that the most valuable gift I can give is one for which I don't expect anything in return. But the world is rapidly changing and our systems are falling apart, and the only thing we've got to see us through it is each other. And I don't want to go out alone.
I'm sad, because I feel like you are pushing me out and away after 5 years of trying to make you home.
I often refer to myself as an uprooted sapling. Torn from the soil of my homeland and thrust into the wind. For a long while I thought my little roots would just shrivel up and I would drift forever. But then I (somewhat unknowingly at the time) began a search for hospitable soils, a new home. I found peace in Oakland. I found friends in Oakland. I found a home and two jobs in Oakland within a week and a half or so of being here! I found people who used the word "community" liberally. Being from LA and having gone to school in Santa Barbara, I was baffled. What is this "community" of which they speak? But then I started to know my neighbors and recognize them at the coffee shop. I started to see people around enough times that we finally just said hello. I did favors for people I knew well and people I barely knew at all. I went to parties & protests & potlucks. I could be my whole damn self - bruised and brown and a little strange. Cranky or in a good mood, on a skateboard or in heels, and it didn't matter whose hand I was holding, or if I was holding anyone's hand at all . . . nobody batted an eyelash. I felt like I had a little safety net made of people with their arms interlocked. If I wobbled on the tightrope of life and fell, they would catch me.
I got to know more and more people. I realized how networks work. Everybody knows everybody. I started to know more of this community's history. Who knows who, who slept with who, who dated who, who's kid that is, who worked where, who never speaks to that one person over there. I had some of my own relationships fall apart. Friendships, romantic relationships. I tried my best to stay friendly with ex's, but sometimes their lies and deceit were too much to bear. Sometimes just the hurt was too much to bear. I tried to stay on decent terms with friends as our relationships shifted and grew apart. But sometimes the blame was too much, or something else was too much, and we just couldn't do it anymore. Adult playgrounds became difficult. I used to see people navigating social scenes with caution: "I didn't invite her because her ex is dating HER." I never thought I'd be one of those people. I had always prided myself on maintaining good relationships with appropriate boundaries, and loving people unconditionally and forever. But I started to see myself as a player in that game. People started telling me when certain people would be at certain events. Or I just plain didn't get invited.
I realized that I had very very few close friends and lots of acquaintances. That I didn't feel comfortable asking anyone to bring me soup when I am sick anymore, or to drive me to the airport. Because there was only the one friend who had ever offered to do those things and I didn't want to ask for too much of him. I realized that I don't actually have anyone to call when I just need to have a good cry with a good friend who would tell me everything would be okay. I realized that some of my damaged relationships would never be healed - I could take responsibility for some part of that, but sometimes shit just sucks and shit just happens and people shit on you. That's a lot of shit. I realized that I had no idea what the future held. And that used to be okay. But it wasn't anymore.
I want to have a family. I want a partner and I want to birth a kid. I want a home. I want friends and I want a community. I want to trade recipes and sad stories and bunches of kale for the Meyer lemons off of your tree. I want to go out dancing and hug half of the people in the club. I want to go for a walk without the fear in my heart that I will run into one of those people who hurt me so badly that I feel like I would just disintegrate if I saw them. I want to feel like I can tell the truth. I want to give to people and do them favors and cook them meals and watch their kids. And I want them to do that for me. I want to feel like it's okay to ask. I want friends who will call me when they know I am having a hard time and ask if I need anything. Just like they would call me if they knew I was in a great mood and wanted to go run around in the sunshine and laugh.
Can Oakland give me this? Am I asking too much? I know I am responsible for creating some of it, and believe me, I am trying my best, with my limited time, energy, and resources. But it's really difficult to keep giving if you're not getting anything back, and I feel like I've been experiencing that for just a little too long now. I know that the most valuable gift I can give is one for which I don't expect anything in return. But the world is rapidly changing and our systems are falling apart, and the only thing we've got to see us through it is each other. And I don't want to go out alone.
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